Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
