my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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