I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
