what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
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