its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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