You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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