that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
