According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
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