At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
