So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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