Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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