I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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