I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
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