I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
You took a bar mat shot.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize