if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
