so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
