Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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