if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
