Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
