Dual....:-)
Acid is not a monday night drug
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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