people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
