i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
You smell like stripper and shame
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
