So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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