at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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