remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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