You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Randomize
