I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Help me help you realize you are a moron
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
