i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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