you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
