the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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