Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
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