She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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