And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
