You're my little dorito
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
