But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Randomize
