I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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