put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Randomize
