told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
