This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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