You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize