glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
