i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
