Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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