Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
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