Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
we're making bets on your personal life
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
