Moan for me like Helen Keller
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Randomize
