I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
