My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
