his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
