i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
