If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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