Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
