He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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