first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Randomize
