If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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