My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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