I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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