No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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