if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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