I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
