wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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