he shaved USA in his pubs
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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