He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
