You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Randomize
