he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
