tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
