if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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